Tomorrow will start my journey to which the end result, I am hoping, will be a thinner me, who can handle being around food without going hog wild, pardon the pun. A little bit about myself. I have an addiction to food. My weight is not some astronomical number, I am 5'6" and I weigh 185 pounds. I would call myself pudgy. I am unhappy with the way that I look but more than that I am unhappy about being addicted to food. I can't be around it without putting some of it in my mouth and I am not even hungry. I am not sure when this addiction started or how it started. I hope to discover that on my journey to being thin and in control.
How do I plan to achieve this goal? Well I have thought and prayed for a long time. I have asked God for help and every time I have asked Him for help He has put little ideas into my head. Creating this blog, somewhere I can write my frustrations and successes but be totally anonymous, was one of those ideas. Last year I tried reading The Weigh Down Diet by Gwen Shamblin. I had a little success in controlling what I ate and how much and even lost some weight. Her idea was to put that focus that I have on food back to where it should be, on God. Tomorrow I plan on picking up her book and reading a little bit each day to help me stay on track, that is another tool.
I am hoping that this journey will bring me into the relationship that I long to have with the Lord. I want a personal relationship, one in which I am talking to Him throughout the whole day, not just early in the morning. I am hoping to be more like Christ, I want my light to shine for Him. I want to be able to truly say that I know Him and He knows me.
Fears? Yep, I have a bunch of those. I fear gaining a bunch of weight. I fear food. I fear that I will never be able to say no. I fear that I won't learn to listen to my body and learn my hunger and full signals. I fear that I won't have the close relationship with God that I truly want to have. I fear failure.
I will not let those fears get the best of me. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,' says the LORD. " Jer. 29:11-14a. I will stand on that promise.
I will start each day trusting in my Savior. He has plans for me. That is where I will draw my strength. I hope one day this blog will help others to find their way out of their wilderness and into the promise land that God has promised to them.
